Life · Love · Making Changes

Life’s Regrets ~ if you have any…

clockWe turned back our clocks this weekend… Gaining an hour feels so great. I accomplished so much by 10am, but was ready for a nap by noon!

The time change got me thinking.  Would it not be “interesting” if we could turn back the clock to another time, another day, another year.

If you had a complete “do-over” of what you wanted in terms of time, do you have any regrets you would fix?  I really believe that all things happen for a reason but, like all of us, struggle with this at times.  I will be brutally honest here (as I’m told it’s nice to have raw honesty according to my “books”),  I do have some regrets and if I could turn back the clock, would most definitely do a few things differently.  What if; we always pose the question; if only….Is the grass really that much greener over there!  These are my top 6 in no particular order.

Schooling…

school I never went to University.  As much as I would love to have the alphabet behind my name, Leslie-Ann Williams, ABC Comm. in this, with a Bachelor of CDE, in that, I don’t.  I went to college.  I loved it there, but did find myself skipping a lot of classes. I never really took it too serious.  The only class I never missed was the one where my future husband was.  He just didn’t know it yet!  I will be honest here and admit that whenever the chit chat about University Life pop’s up at a social function, I find myself making a quick getaway (most likely to the kitchen…to fill up my beer)!   Not sure why, but I feel I can’t add anything to the convo, so I skedaddle!   Are you feeling sorry for me yet?

Post College I attended a business school where I could ‘school’ anybody in a typing test. Go Me!  I then landed my first job in Marketing at Imperial Oil.  I worked there for 14 amazing years watching the price wars of gasoline wondering if $0.29/liter would ever go higher!  🙂  I created life long friendships, and to this day, still keep in touch. So yes, regrets about University absolutely, but silver lining, would have NEVER met my better half, and as well, those special friends at my first Big Girl Job!

Career path…

teacher

I heard it a lot growing up…”you would have been a great teacher.”  I would just smile and never really took it away as an action point!  I guess along with my schooling, the career choice would have been obvious.  I used to play “school” for hours when I was smaller.  I was always Mrs. Sharon Miller.  Not sure who she was, or how that name came about, but it was all I ever thought about.  I had some wonderful teachers when I was growing up and as I told my boys, there will be teachers that come into your life for a reason, and also ones that you would like to forget.  I wanted to make a difference and be the ‘nice’ one, but again, never did.  Regret!  On the upside, I may look into that website Ancestry dot com and see if there really is a Sharon Miller.  Perhaps she IS a teacher, and MY doppelganger! That would be a slight win for me!  I hope she is making me proud!

 Sibling Rivalry…

sibling

Be nicer to my sister  ~ We had “sibling rivalry” throughout my teens.  She would never do what I assumed to be, all the big sister things in life.  Share her clothes with me, or makeup ~ She was supposed to, Right?   Well,  admittedly, I could have been nicer.  I was a meanie.  We just fought all the time, which in turn, made her tattle.  So what if I had friends over in grade 10 ~ and we drank a case of beer in my bedroom ~ and dunked my Thumbelina doll into a beer pitcher and broke her swiveling head ~ deep breath ~ and so what if we then proceeded to smoke a pack of Benson & Hedges Menthol cigarettes on the island across from MY house.  Nobody would tell my parents, would they?  FULL STOP!  She did. She tattled. If only I would have been nicer, she most likely would not have ratted me out so much!  UPDATE:  We are much closer now having matured just slightly, and do from time to time,  look back and share great giggles about this story and many other “Leslie Misadventures.”

One Last Goodbye…

goodbyeThis is a tough one, but it’s a real one.  I have lost too many people in my life, far too early. It’s not supposed to happen this way. This is most definitely where “everything happens for a reason” comes into play! Things just happen and there is no rhyme nor reason why ~ it just does.  I struggle with this when it comes to Loss.  If we could turn back time, yes, absolutely, I would love one more word, one more chance to say something, anything.  I regret not making that phone call for one last lunch, reach in for one last hug… ❤

Babies…

toes

Ah yes, babies. NO REGRETS except for one thing…I should have had more and closer together!  That’s it!  I LOVE being a mom!   I married in 1989,  had my first boy 1992, and 3 years later, along came baby boy #2.   He was a busy one, and we thought we were done.  No Offence Middle Child!   We threw in a move to Eastern Canada and it seemed as though that was it.  Starting anew was tough at first, so I was all about making friends; organizing playdates and sourcing other moms that enjoyed the odd libation at 2:00pm.   Then, during one of our chats, it hit me!  I think I want to grow our family unit!

Surprisingly, the thought of being pregnant, strollers and night time feedings still appealed to me. So, 2001 and here comes boy #3!  Yes, a bit of a gap, and NO, he wasn’t a mistake (I find it rather funny people will actually ask you that).  But now, I was 38 and really didn’t think my uterus could handle one more.  So, if I may, if you want babies, have them!  It’s never the right time, but the moment it happens, it’s the perfect time.  Things just work themselves out.  3 Boys are perfect for me! (and I wasn’t foolish enough to risk a 4th blue one, It was pink or go home).

Slow Down…

slow Slow Down – on the heels of having the babies, another regret of mine, was not spending enough time with them when they were smaller.  I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home when they were young,  but always found myself doing things around the house while they played.  Sure, I was great at organizing things for them to do, camps, playdates, picnics, but on days when we were home alone, instead of sitting and playing or even watching a video,  I chose to busy myself with something which no doubt included cleaning and my label maker!  They were happy and I’m sure I’m beating myself up here a bit, but the thought of enduring one more episode of that annoying little boy, Caillou, and his sister Rosie, I could scream.  My youngest loved that show, so it was all I could do to hide away deep inside my linen closet so as to not hear that little bastard whining! Combine that with Lunette the Clown and her rolling around on a carpet like a stripper, and it’s no wonder I would prefer molding fondant than watch that stuff.

We can all have regrets about certain aspects of our life.  That’s just how it plays out.  That can’t be helped.  I know we can’t go back and change things, and let’s face it, is the grass really any greener over there!  And where is that place anyway, and if it’s a fence,  it’s due for a paint touch up!

In the end, we have to embrace our lives, and accept the path we are on. I do hope however, I’m not at a party where the idea comes up to “share one regret we have in life.”  Tell me, what is it with people and party games.  Can’t we all just hang out by the cheese tray and discuss the newest fashion trends!   You do know however, if  University chatter comes up, I’m making a beeline to the kitchen, and cracking yet another cold one!

I’ll leave you with a couple of quotes to ponder…

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” 

and this..

“You were what you were and you are what you are. Fuck that regrets bullshit.”

Until next time,

signature

P.S.  please excuse any typos or lack of fluidity in this post…  I was up till the wee hours of the night  watching the end of the world, as we know it!   Speaking of regrets, do you think “President Trump” has any… Oiy Vey!

 

6 thoughts on “Life’s Regrets ~ if you have any…

  1. Leslie. I always knew you had wit, perspective and most of all humour. Enjoyed reading your whole blog! Keep it going. Your thoughts and views are what we all think and realize but don’t have the dialogue to put it to paper or blog or whatever you are supposed to in social media times! You need to get the word out!!! Regards to Sharon!

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